Equal Temper of Heroic Hearts: "Rare Objects" by Kathleen Tessaro

Recently, I've had a number of women share with me about their struggles with mental health. This is a fairly common event since I am very open about my own struggles with depression. While some of these women have far more harrowing challenges than I do, the common denominator is always this -- some days we feel really sad, other days we are very happy and some days we are just straight-up crazy. Each time the subject of mental health comes up, it is really important to me to verbally recognize their struggles as something they live and breathe just as much as I do, that they are very different from mine, but also find our common ground. And you know what? Most of the time the common ground is this: it is so damn hard to deal at times, but we keep doing it.  "Rare Objects" by Kathleen Tessaro was a book that exemplified what I just described above. It was a moving story about mental health and what may seem to be heroic is likely all a ploy to just continue to deal.

This book was another book I purchased used from my Amazon Wish List to give some variety to my reading while I was at training for my day job.  Previously, I had read "The Perfume Collector" by Kathleen Tessaro and REALLY enjoyed it.  This book definitely showcased her writing style once again and I read the entire book in the course of four days.

The setting for the story is 1932 Boston.  There are two main characters in this book.  The first is Maeve Fanning, an Irish immigrant with a family who is barely making due and still trying to adjust to being in America. Maeve struggles with making the best choices and eventually finds herself in a mental institution. The second main character is Diana van der Laar, a high-society debutante whose family has excessively high expectations for her and she wants none of it.  She is also a bit too manic for high society and also finds herself in a mental institution.  Both of these women come from polar worlds, but one day find themselves interacting for a brief moment in the common area of the same mental institution.  Maeve is intrigued by Diana and, at the time, doesn't realize the feelings are mutual and Diana may not be as manic as the staff has portrayed her to be. Diana is discharged shortly after this exchange and Maeve assumes that life will just move on and the meeting was pure coincidence.

Following Maeve's discharge from the institution, she finds a job as a store clerk and assistant in a high-end antiques shop. She is a high-spirited woman and makes her way in to a career that includes interacting with many of Boston's high society residents.  One day a woman comes in to the shop and as they begin to visit they realize that they know each other, their common link is the mental institution and this woman is Diana van der Laar.  Both know that openly sharing their common link would negatively affect both their reputations so they start to meet for dinner and drinks after Maeve is off work and become fast friends. The friendship that unfolds is one of chaos and dysfunction, but also strength that comes from sharing the fear of ridicule for being imperfectly crazy.

There were a couple of passages that really resonated with me, especailly because I can relate quite significantly in the mental health realm.  In a conversation between Maeve and Diana, Diana shares with Maeve that she has purchased an apartment that will be a safe haven for both of them whenver they need it.  Both of them have keys and the rules are that they can literally come there any time they need to escape.

Diana says to Maeve, "I need a place to breathe.  You're not the only one who lives in a fishbowl.  I thought you'd understand." Maeve replies (referencing Diana's primary home aka mansion), "I do, it's just, well, it's so beautiful. Filled with so many lovely things." Diana's reply is what really struck me because I've felt it many times.  She said, "is it? Well, they're only things.  Anyway, I like secrets. What people don't know can't be interfered with." Bingo!  This is SO true.  There have been so many times in my own life when I thought it is just easier for me to deal with this on my own vs. freaking someone out or overwhelming them because they suddenly get to be aware of my imperfections. Is that necessarily the healthiest way to handle it? Probably not, but it's happened.

The next quote was shared with Maeve by her employer.  He said to her, "sometimes, my dear, being broken is the most interesting thing that can happen." {insert intended pause to reflect} How many of you have felt like your broken pieces were the ones that needed to be ignored or hidden under the rug? I have many times. This quote was powerful to me when I was reading the book.  I needed the reminder at the very moment I was reading it.  I was in a sea of transitions of life and a new job that was super overwhelming at the time.  I felt like my broken pieces were holding me back, but really they were the reason why I was in this new place and it was a good thing!

The final passage was what inspired the title of this blog post.  Maeve's employer becomes someone she confides in and shares a lot of her past with and how it has affected her present.  At one point she finds a copy of Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "Ulysses" where the employer has written some notes. The section with the notes says,

How dull it is to pause, to make an end,

To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!

As tho' to breathe were life!...

... that which we are, we are:

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield.

This poem became a mantra for Maeve and she did her best to figure out what her purpose in life was. Simultaneously within the plot, Diana is doing the same and the reader discovers how their polar upbringings and social classes didn't stop either from having to make really difficult decisions and feel some deep pain and sorrow.  I love, love, loved the sentence, "One equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will." This is life, my friends! We are equal because we have hearts, but what makes us different is the events over time that have caused us to find strength to keep going.  Did Maeve deal in the same manner as Diana? Nope.  Were there common themes? Yes, but it was not exactly the same. This is very important to remember in our own lives.  How I deal will never look the same as how you deal. But, that does not mean we can help each other to strive, seek, find and not yield.  

My recommended reading group would be age 16 and above.  It's a PG-13 read with strong mental health themes, relationship elements including sex and overall themes that may be too much to process for the younger audience.

The moral of the story: Finding our common link may mean recognizing our broken pieces, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't do it.  Rise to the occasion and admit you're imperfect, they're imperfect and it's OK.

Happy reading, my amazing, geeky lovelies!
-R

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Like what you read above - purchase this book by clicking the Amazon link below! Thank you for reading The Thrifting Ginger.  

Other Books by Kathleen Tessaro