For the Love of Butter: "My Life in France" by Julia Child with Alex Prud'homme

At the beginning of the year I decided that February would have the theme of books about love. I'm not particularly fond of the holiday Valentine's Day, in the sense that it's supposedly the one day a year your significant other is suddenly the best lover you've ever had and showers you with gifts and chocolate. Not a fan! However, I enjoy focusing on love during February because it helps me remember how many people I love every day of the year and why.  When I was choosing my selection of books to review, I remembered that I had purchased the autobiography of Julia Child at a garage sale last summer. I was familiar with the love story of Julia and her husband Paul, as well as her love for good food (and lots of butter) so I decided to include "My Life in France" by Julia Child with Alex Prud'homme. For the most part I prefer fiction over non-fiction for leisurely reading, but this was a book I really wanted to read and I was glad I made an exception.

Paul and Julia Child were quite the couple.  They both had extremely successful careers prior to meeting, but they were so supportive of each other's careers after they were married.  There was a lot of give and take in their relationship and at the end of the day it was all about making each other happy.  The decision to move to Paris was made so that Paul could further his career with the United States government. When they arrived in Paris, Julia didn't know how to speak French or have friends to turn to when she was lonely.  In spite of these circumstances, she decided to make the most of it and started taking cooking classes at the prestigious cooking school, Le Cordon Bleu. Little did she know that the decision to learn how to embrace France through cooking would be life-altering on so many levels.

Julia had the BEST sense of humor.  It took me a little bit longer to read this book because I had to stop and mark funny passages.  It didn't take long for me to pick up on her immense love for any cuisine with unholy amounts of butter.  It made me laugh when she would talk trash about margarine. Here are a few examples of my favorite bits of wisdom  (both funny and inspiring) throughout the book:

Travel we agreed, was a litmus test: if we could make the best of the chaos and serendipity that we'd inevitably meet in transit, then we'd surely be able to sail through the rest of life together just fine. So far, we'd done pretty well. I love this! My personal philosophy on picking a spouse is this: if you can survive a road trip that includes camping then MARRY THEM. But, seriously, it doesn't get any more authentic than roadies and camping.

There were times I had a penetrating question to ask, or a fine point that burned inside of me, and I simply wasn't able to make myself heard. All this had the effect of making me work even harder. Julia shared this about her time at Le Cordon Bleu.  I can relate to this personally.  Much of what I've learned in my career about social media and marketing has been self-taught.  Social media didn't exist when I was in college and I knew I needed to learn it to succeed in my career. Making that decision to teach myself opened up a lot of windows and doors to great adventures that continue to happen.

The sweetness and generosity and politeness and gentleness and humanity of the French had shown me how lovely life can be if one takes time to be friendly.  I posted this quote on my social media outlets when I was reading the book because it was just too awesome not to share immediately.  Throughout the book, Julia spoke very highly of the locals who helped her learn the language, the art of cooking and the culture.  She found great solace in befriending individuals who were local versus other Americans who were living in France while working for the government.  She craved variety in all forms of life and looked forward to meeting interesting people and learning something new every day of her life.

We looked at each other and repeated a favorite phrase from our diplomatic days: 'Remember, no one's more important than people!' In other words, friendship is the most important thing--not career or housework, or one's fatigue--and it needs to be tended and nurtured. So we packed our bags and off we went. This quote was referring to a last minute trip they made to Paris while living in southern France.  One thing is for sure, Paul and Julia Child treasured their relationships with everyone.  In spite of polar differences in political views with Julia's parents, they still made the effort to visit her family in California as often as they could. They always made time for those they loved most.  It was sweet to read about the different experiences they had with various family and friends.

The last theme I want to showcase is the will to never give up.  Julia had a great deal of courage and hope in the face of struggle. She married late in life and in spite of great efforts she and Paul could never have children of their own. It was something that she struggled with, but she also found ways to enjoy life and her relationship with Paul. They were there for each other and buoyed each other up when the struggles were real. The road to being a published cookbook author and TV superstar was NOT easy, but she never gave up and kept adjusting her sails to withstand the storm of life.  It was so inspiring to read her accounts of not giving up.

My recommended reading group would be age 12 and above.  It's a great biography with lots of amazing history and details about France. She also uses a lot of French words throughout the book so if you're wanting to learn or practice your Français, then this is a great book for that as well!

The moral of the story: When in doubt always buy extra butter. You never know when the perfect recipe will surface and a good cook must always be armed and ready. Oh, and....don't give up. Bon Appetit!

Happy reading, my amazing, geeky lovelies!
-R



Other Books by Julia Child

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Learning to Love: "The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz

Last year I had the opportunity to travel to Denver, Colorado for a week-long business trip.  It's a fairly short flight from the sticks of Montana to the city. I didn't really plan to do much except close my eyes for a bonus nap and open them for snack time.  When I found my seat, I was assigned next to a lovely lady who was reading "The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz. We sat in silence as the airplane took off and finally I couldn't stay silent anymore because I really wanted to know about this book! So, I was brave and asked her what it was about. The result of that question? I did not get my usual in-flight nap because we ended up talking about the book for over an hour.  As we were making our final descent into Denver, I asked if I could see the cover again so I could write down the title and author. As soon as I could, I purchased a used copy on Amazon.

In spite of my prompt purchase, it still sat in the cozy book nook gathering dust because I wasn't ready to analyze my patterns of love in my life at the time. Life was very painful and full of sadness for a love lost and I just couldn't face it.  When the time finally came to read this book, it was at the perfect moment and I was so grateful I had followed through on the prompting to buy it as soon as I was home from my business trip many months prior.  As a rule for this blog, I try to stick with books that have legitimately been purchased at the thrift store, but this book was SO pivotal for me that it gets a spot during my month of books about love....because it's probably the most important book I've ever read about love.

Books like this can either be extremely beneficial and moving or they can create a cyclone of bewilderment on what we need to improve.  I totally get it.  Self-help books are generally a lengthy read for me because I like to digest the words and it takes time.  Although this book isn't very long, the content is amazing and it made me think....a lot. In an effort to summarize, but also leave enough to your own discovery, I will share a few points that really hit home for me.  No matter what, I think every human should read this book.  I know that's a really big, generalized statement, but I mean it.  The author shares tips about self-love and love of humanity that are so important.

1. When a human is born, the emotional mind, the emotional body, is completely healthy. Maybe around three or four years old, the first wounds in the emotional body start to appear and get infected with emotional poison. But, if you observe children who are two or three years old, if you see how they behave, they are playing all the time. You see them laughing all the time.  Their imagination is so powerful, and the way they dream is an adventure of exploration.  When something is wrong they react and defend themselves, but then they just let go and turn their attention to the moment again, to explore and have fun again.  They are not ashamed of their past; they are not worried about the future.  Little children express what they feel, and they are not afraid to love.  The happiest moments in our lives are when we are playing just like children, when we are singing and dancing, when we are exploring and creating just for fun.  

I love this concept. I'm blessed to be an aunt to four spectacular little humans and when I read this I thought about all of the glorious moments I've spent with them in their world of love and imagination.  Children are so literal, but they also move on so quickly. As adults, our emotional poison stops us from loving freely and moving on when we have been hurt.  That's ok because we are human, but we don't have to be stuck in a rut of bitterness and sadness forever.  Dig deep, grab some fruit snacks, your favorite coloring book, some crayons and head to the blanket fort to practice some solid, child-like self-love.

2. Life brings to you exactly what you need. There is perfect justice in hell. There is nothing to blame. We can even say that our suffering is a gift. If you just open your eyes and see what is around you, it's exactly what you need to clean your poison, to heal your wounds, to accept yourself, and to get out of hell.

This paragraph is underlined in orange marker in my book.  I needed this reminder when I read the book. I need it every, damn day.  What we need in our life is in our life right this second.  The hard part is understanding the why when our days feel like a living hell. I know! I've lived it many times.  I'd be full of shit if I told you that my days blink back to perfect when I put on a happy face and think happy thoughts.  The sadness is still there and it hurts BAD, but when I turn my focus to the good and the blessed, it makes it more bearable.  It makes it easier to tell myself, "you can do this, Raylynn. You're very blessed. There's a plan. God loves you. Don't give up." In my bathroom I have a note card that says, "You have worth." Every time I'm in there I read it to myself.  I have to remind myself. The critic in my brain is quick to convince me otherwise and love conquers the crazy, but not until I look in the mirror and say it out loud.

3. If we are in a war of control, it is because we have no respect. The truth is that we don't love. It is selfishness, not love. When we have no respect there is a war of control because each person feels responsible for the other. I have to control you because I don't respect you. I have to be responsible for you, because whatever happens to you is going to hurt me, and I want to avoid pain. This is what happens when we come from the track of fear. Because there is no respect, I act as though you are not good enough or intelligent enough to see what is good or not good for you.

This statement strikes some really raw nerves for me.  It's pretty self-explanatory, but I can share that this has affected me deeply both in my personal and professional life.  Most recently I've had some experiences that I'd love to say I got over quickly and moved on, but I didn't. It's taken some time, a lot of prayer and an ongoing effort to forgive.  The bitchy redhead in me would love to send a candy-gram on Valentine's Day to a few people with this quote written on it, but I know that's spiteful and pointless.  If reading this paragraph caused a twinge of guilt in your heart, step back and think about why. Are you controlling a situation or two in fear? Are you afraid that someone else's imperfection may result in your pain? Please be brave and face it.  It's a two-way street and I've had to work really, really hard to let up on the need to control in my life. Little by little I have been able to live with more love and less selfishness in my heart.

4. You can have a relationship that fulfills your dream of heaven; you can create a paradise, but you have to begin with you. Begin with complete acceptance of your body. Hunt the parasite, and make it surrender. Then the mind will love your body and will no longer sabotage your love. It's up to you; it's not up to anyone else. But first, you are going to learn how to heal your emotional body. 

Where do I begin? It's been a real struggle for me to accept my physical and emotional body in the last couple years.  The numbers on the scale have increased and my wardrobe has changed because of it.  Fashion has always mattered to me because it's fun, but, in spite of having some seriously cute outfits, I didn't have a lot of self-love to go with it.  So it was kind of a train wreck when I didn't have those cute clothes to hide behind and lacked self-love.  It is an absolute work in progress for me all day, every day to love the fluffier Raylynn.  Some days I'm ok with the curves, other days I curse them and grimace at photos.  However, I have made a conscious effort to have self-love as my priority so that I can heal my emotional body. My emotional body was really, really broken when I took that trip to Denver last January and I only knew about part of it at the time.  Since then, I've had to dig deep and camp in my figurative blanket tent to figure out what needed to be fixed aka hunting the parasite.

I hope these passages have given you some insight on learning to love as well as enlighten on ways you might improve.  The internal battle of self-love is 100% real for all of us because we are human.  I know that learning to wash out the poison and hunting the parasite makes a difference, but it is not easy or an overnight occurrence.  It takes time and patience.

My recommended reading group would be anyone who can read an amazing chapter book about how to show more love in life. You be the judge of what age that means.

The moral of the story: Learning to love is an eternal life lesson.  That means the lesson plan can change at any time as well as the people involved. Live life with love, not fear. You can do it and so can I.

Happy reading, my amazing, geeky lovelies!
-R



Other Books by Don Miguel Ruiz

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A Cup of Crazy: "Austenland" by Shannon Hale

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a person who is incandescently in love with a fictional character may have a problem. Maybe.  I, along with innumerable members of the I Heart Colin Firth Fan Club, beg to differ because he is utterly dreamy and total husband material solely because he rocked the wet tunic contest in A & E's "Pride and Prejudice." I was so grateful to find a book that completely supported my personal affinity to Colin Firth and Mr. Darcy while giving me so many laughs and points to ponder.  Without further adieu, I'd like to pour you a brewing cup of crazy as I review "Austenland" by Shannon Hale.

This book became wildly popular after the movie adaptation was picked up for theaters at Sundance Film Festival in 2013.  The movie adaptation is seriously one of the most hilarious films I've ever seen so I was a tiny bit nervous to read the book since I love the movie so much.  My awesome friend Sarah (a published author herself -- LINK TO HER BOOKS) gave this book to me for Christmas this year.  When I opened the package I was so surprised and excited when I noticed that it was an autographed copy. She later shared that she had purchased this at her favorite used book store in Ogden, Utah and it was a happy accident that she purchased an autographed copy. Winning! 

I'm pleased to share that the book and the movie both earned the right of awesomeness on their own.  Is the movie exactly like the book? Nope.  But, the gems that are included in the book are those that could never, ever be captured in the film and likewise, the movie had quirky elements that could only be shown in a live production.  Can I say I like one or the other better? Honestly, no.  They were both wonderful.

Our main character is Jane Hayes, an expert on all things Austen. She has read each of Jane Austen's books from cover to cover multiple times and lives in a bit of a euphoric dreamland with Fitzwilliam Darcy as her Prince Charming. She is presented with the opportunity to visit Austenland, a themed travel experience that allows visitors to completely immerse themselves in the Regency era similar to the settings of Jane Austen's books.  It's very clear that Jane has a somewhat skewed view of the world, love and relationships because she is so obsessed with Austen's fictional characters.  In the beginning, travelling to Austenland seems like the perfect way to rehabilitate herself out of this way of thinking, but really it turns in to quite a silly mess.

The main difference between the film and the book was probably my favorite element of the book.  Between each chapter there is a brief synopsis/diary entry that details the demise of Jane's long string of "boyfriends." Boyfriends in the sense that they were boys and they were non-fictional humans, but that's about it.  Every single chapter includes a different fella and they are SO funny.  While I was reading this book, I shared this part with my mother and she looked at me and said, "there is really a different boyfriend for every chapter?" Yes and that's why it's so funny.  Each of the guys she describes really existed, but they weren't ever good enough because Jane compared them to Mr. Darcy.  At least that's what you think.  But throughout the book, you start to see that not only is Jane dating losers for lack of options and self-confidence, but she's convinced herself that it's OK and that someday her Darcy will come and treat her how she deserves to be treated.  I loved having this aspect, not only for the laughs, but because it concurrently showed me how Jane ticked. She just wanted to be loved by a nice, non-fictional guy like the rest of us.

Because Austenland is a scripted experience based on the amount paid by visitors, Jane starts to get caught up in the battle of real vs. scripted. That, in and of itself, is a huge irony because most of her real life has been spent swooning over this fictional character. Now she is faced with the conflict of what is real and questions herself constantly.  The question "do I love this man because he has a great script and a lovely outfit or because he is a genuinely kind individual" comes up on a regular basis.  The author was very creative as she shared this inner dialogue because an Austen fanatic quickly picks up on the similarity to the "Pride and Prejudice" plot line and the battle Elizabeth Bennet has regarding her feelings for Mr. Darcy and George Wickham.  Oh, the web Jane weaves as she tries to sort out her feelings and emotions. She is presented with a suitor and she falls hard, but then assumes it's scripted and pulls herself away. Over and over, back and forth, she fights with this, all while the reader is enjoying the hilarious (and sort of sad) tales of her failed non-fictional relationships.  Totally genius way of writing.  Loved it.

In a way I felt sorry for Jane because she truly wants a non-fictional man to be amazing, sweep her off her feet and who can blame her? We all long for the respect of others.  Let's just be honest.  In the end she comes to the conclusion that her time at Austenland was meant to be a fun, dreamland vacation from her sad reality and she prepares to return home feeling like she's still in a state of unrest with her feelings for Mr. Darcy.  Thanks to a spot of luck, fate proves her wrong, and the ending is just plain cute.  And yes, very happy.

My recommended reading group would be all ages, but make sure you're a hard core Austen geek!!  I mean you don't have to be, but it will help and make it that more enjoyable and hilarious.

The moral of the story: Mr. Darcy is fictional, but that doesn't mean the non-fictional version doesn't exist in some form.  Hold out hope and don't shortchange yourself for the sake of avoiding being single.  Life's too short to date the George Wickhams of the non-fictional world.

Happy reading, my amazing, geeky lovelies!
-R

More Books by Shannon Hale

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